Cut Grass

When I was a teenager,
my dad would want me to cut the grass.
I did, and most of the time I would bag the cuttings.
Sometimes, if the grass was short enough
I wouldn’t need the bag.
When I would finish,
people from the neighborhood would stop by
and compliment me on how the yard looked.

Then my dad would come home.
He complained that it wasn’t cut right.
That I should have bagged the grass better.
He would complain about something
that was done different
than his liking.
I resented him for years.
He was never home,
and was a workaholic.
He enjoyed working
and then coming home
just to complain
and belittle.
It ended up being his greatest lesson.
He taught me that the world is cruel.
You could feel as though you did a great job,
but a boss
may not feel the same.

Now that I am older
I realized he was right.
The world is cruel.
I have given everything
in my jobs,
my love life,
and my writing.
All end up in rejections.
Some were written,
and some were left in a voicemail,
but many were in person.

After so many,
the hurt went away
and persistence took over.
I may write something
and it will be rejected.
A girlfriend will breakup with me
saying there has to be someone better.
The job,
where I went above and beyond
only to watch others get praise.

I know now
that I didn’t need that kind of lesson
when I was a teenager.
I needed a father.
Someone to believe in me.
It is something I never had,
which made me doubt myself,
even now.
It was in the cut grass.

©Copyright 2014 by Kurt Rees.
All rights reserved

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I Could Say I Love You

I could say I love you
to make you happy,
to make things easier on me.
I want to tell you,
but don’t know if I truly do.
Maybe I’m holding on
to those words
waiting for the right moment.
I could say them,
but would they
come from the heart?
This heart has been
through so much hurt.
I forgot
what love feels like.
The ache,
the pain,
the longing,
all things I went through
with my first few loves.
The signs of love are now
a distant memory.
Can it be my age?
My hurt from the first few
may have put this shield
around my heart.
I could say I love you
and not know for sure.
I hope I can tell you sometime
that I can’t live without you
and that I love you.

Who knows true love anyway?

©Copyright 2011 by Kurt Rees.
All rights reserved

Fly on the Wall

My new book is finally out.
fotwwpress

Here is the link to order the paperback:

http://www.lulu.com/shop/kurt-rees/fly-on-the-wall/paperback/product-21186307.html

Here is the link to order the ebook format:

http://www.lulu.com/shop/kurt-rees/fly-on-the-wall/ebook/product-21186577.html